Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday

As I Began to Love Myself

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.

Today, I know, this is “Authenticity“.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.

Today I call it “Respect“.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.

Today I call it “Maturity“.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm.

Today I call it “Self-confidence“.

As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.

Today I call it “Simplicity“.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.

Today I know it is “Love of oneself“.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.

Today I discovered that is “Modesty“.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.

Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “Fulfillment“

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally.

Today I call this connection “Wisdom of the heart“.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born.

Today I know that is “Life“!

broken blossoms (luminous pollution)

starlight. like sand in the night sky shining bright
luminous beauty and streaks of gargantuan delight.
present day lights killed its dazzling jewels
replacing it with artificiality's fuels

now night is blinded by incandescence
Orion's belt trifled with its sinister presence
can constellations beat the beastly lights of the city
and conquer with might once more in perpetuity?

off to where my mind takes me

-- great. John Barrowman will not play Raoul in Love Never Dies. he could have been a great choice. ah, Andrew. speaking of Andrew Lloyd Webber, last year he revealed he has prostate cancer. that was sad. a bit shocked, but have read he's getting along fine.

--so many changes and new things: taste, preferences, interests, environment. but i am still the same person, i guess.

--i began to pursue the quest of watching the greatest films in the world ever produced since their invention and discovery. i am having fun. i even bought the book 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.

--a new hobby: writing film reviews. getting inclined to and acquainted with everything about films.

--nothingness, Facebook, violin. ah, the violin. am teaching myself like Chaplin. i've been eager to play it since forever. only now had I the chance to buy a small one and fiddle.

--Cats the Musical: in Manila with Lea Salonga as Grizabella. will i go or what? I want to, but the ticket's expensive. no, i have to for experience's sake.

--random thoughts: hilarity, photo capture, black and white, Frank Capra, Jimmy Stewart, Lionel Barrymore, millionaire tramp, surrealism, Bronenosets Potyomkin, dance of the rolls, 'yes... this is all about me. wonderful, isn't it?' (not me saying, but I imagine someone saying it)... very random...